Today I realized why my waitress at Beoufannte blushed a pale green when I remarked on her Lebanese back-hair.
a) She must have felt embarassed by my candid, truthful remark or b) We're also at War.
It's been so long since I read the paper. Usually, Manuel, during breakfast texts me the morning Hollywood gossip. I seem to have o'erlooked the crisis in the Middle East. So, I ran to the nearest bodega and asked the attendant (in Aramic) for the NY Post. In in it, I pursued for 20 seconds in the taxi that WWar3 was just begging. I got car sick, and missed my plane from London to NYC. If I had gone to to the Versace 50th Anniversary I would have been on one of thoses planes; possibly, even worse dying with White Zin and closeted Stewardii. So, I called the estate of Aaron Spelling and coersed Candy to let me borrow the Spelling plane. She was faxing something to herself that read, "Last straw, Tori takes seesaw." Incidently, ten pills of vicodan fell from her plush robe. I wasn't going to mention it until I wrote it.
War is going on , and one of the many things I realized is that we should all come Together. We are all stars. We all come from nothing and go to nowhere. There is some God! Who cares what you name it? Give Jerusalem to the United Nations. Plus, have you see pictures of those Israeli Soldiers. Gorgeous. Stunning. My friend says Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the Iranian President is "hot". I don't. (Hold on...) I think he looks - looks, okay I just googled him and he's hot. But I, firmly do not, subscribe to his beliefs and rants. I believe he just doesn't understand Capitalism. President Bush should take him to Disney Orlando and McDonald's, maybe even Target. He will see our panache and, perhaps, want to mold his economy after us, and our faux happiness. We have our own God it's just called "Consumerism". Once they get over the "angry" thing they'll understand. They'll want to - plus Mahmoud and I are dating and things are going well.
I look forward to enlightening you as best I can. You inspire as well.
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